Job Seeking: Twesume?

Sounds like something someone would say if they had a lisp right?

But no! This is a thing. Your resume (CV here in England) but in a tweet. 

I just saw a job that I was interested that asked for this, it was a social media job so I guess it was relevant. This then made me Google it, as I had no idea what it was.

So how do you condense those 2 pages that you worked so hard on and use size 9 font so that everything fits within the 140 word limit? 
Easy, you don't waffle. Go straight to the point, say what you do, your biggest achievement, a goal, a skill, and a link to a detailed profile/CV.
(link to where I got this from)

I will upload mine when I've written it!

Here's a hilarious one that the job role quoted;

"World traveler & toy expert. 300+ years experience. Looking for position in entertainment industry.http://tinyurl.com/c9ursdp #gamechanger"

Can you guess who this person is?
Comment with your answers!

Much Love,
Nigar!