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The Intimacy Acceleration


Those of you who watch The Big Bang Theory and are up to date will know what I'm talking about. Or those who are more in tune with social media as this test, please keep reading, apparently stormed social media, claims the Entertainment Weekly website. 

This test is a psychological love experiment. It was claimed in an article, origin unknown, that 'two people can fall in love in a matter of hours if they answer a series of intimate questions, followed by four minutes of staring into each other’s eyes'. 

So this test was originally published by Arthur Aron, in 1997, in a paper named 'The Experimental Generation of INterpersonal Closeness: A Procedure and Some Preliminary Findings. So it's not a new study, but one that seems to have been rebranded and pushed out there. As most new ideas usually are. 

I did this test with a friend while eating lunch in Pizza Hut today. Now, we've gone way past falling love and gone onto contentment, so this was purely an experiment, and not a way to get away from being forever alone. 

It took me a while to find it though, as searching for the episode title just came up with pages upon pages of reviews. Eventually I found it and got the questions, if which there are 36. In the paper, there is also a second set of 36 questions, but we only did a couple from that. 

I think this was a great way to just open up with someone, and I can see how it would bring you closer to someone, but not fall in love. Unless that creepy 4 minutes of staring is actually supposed to do something, which we didn't do, cause (as we told each other) we'd probably end up going blind. We just have that kind of relationship. I think you should all try this with someone. Be it a friend, spouse/OH, pet, or blind date. Possibly not a parent cause they don't need to know most this shit, and they come up in a couple of questions. 

OR! We could do this with each other? And then we can skype and stare at each other? Just a thought. Let me know! 

The Questions.
1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
3. Before making a phone call, do you ever rehearse what you’re going to say? Why?
4. What would constitute a perfect day for you?
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you choose?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one quality or ability, what would it be?
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
14. Is there something that you’ve dreamt of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “we are both in this room feeling…”
26. Complete this sentence “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
28. Tell your partner what you like about them: Be honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to feel about the problem you have chosen.

1 comment

  1. Just watched the episode and was looking for the full list of questions. Happened upon this in my search. You tried it yet? If so, what're your thoughts?


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Maira Gall